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UNCLES WITH A MISSION

January 20, 2017, 7:28 am
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Don't play-play with these uncles. Those bulging biceps are for real, so are the six-packs. These seniors defy age. They certainly do not fit the stereotype image of frail and decrepit old folks.

'Use it, or lose it'. That applies not just to our brains, but to our muscles as well. As we enter the retirement years, it is so very easy to let ourselves go downhill mentally and physically due to inactivity. We move into the slow lane, and before we know it, we have slipped into that 'old already' mindset. Once entrenched there, it becomes our comfort zone. We adopt a sedentary lifestyle and in later years wind up having to deal with a host of health issues.

(L to R: Bee Kia, Hin Kwok and Siu Chi)
Photo: Team Strong Silvers
One excellent example of seniors who refuse to let age take a toll on them is Team Strong Silvers (TSS). They are on a mission to encourage Singaporeans both young and not-so-young to opt for an active lifestyle for fitness and good health. I had the opportunity to spend one morning chatting with them and watching them doing calisthenics at Yio Chu Kang stadium. I came away very impressed with what I saw and learned.

Formed in 2013, TSS comprises three core members Ng Bee Kia, 71, Ngai Hin Kwok, 68 and Ng Siu Chi, 58, who was away at the time of the interview. If there was a Seniors edition of Men's Health magazine, TSS would be a shoo-in for the cover. These images below bear testimony that their hard work has paid off. Their well-toned sculpted bodies are the envy of men decades younger than them, and I bet also secretly admired by the ladies.




Their daily exercise regime consists of at least an hour of calisthenics, and often some weightlifting as well. Bee Kia is a former weightlifter who once represented Singapore in the SEA Games. He still has the muscles to show for it. Hin Kwok is retired. Siu Chi is the only member still working. All three are committed to clean and healthy living. Absolutely no supplements, but plenty of workouts indoors and outdoors.

Photo: Team Strong Silvers
To Ng Bee Kia, doing housework is also exercising. As his wife is still working, Bee Kia does the mopping and cleaning at home. He has no complaints as he sees it as another way to work the muscles. Either we move our muscles, or watch them turn into flab.

So ladies, take note. Make your household chores a part of your daily exercise routine. You have a domestic helper to take care of that? Well, take up gardening then. Or be a hands-on grandparent. Running after the little children, or taking them out for a stroll is exercise. Anything so long as it keeps your limbs moving. Avoid a sedentary lifestyle at all cost, and you will reap the benefits in your old age.


Ng and Ngai were also featured in Straits Times Fit For Life supplement in December 2016. According to the article, Ngai, a doting grandfather of three, brisk-walks 11km every weekend around MacRitchie Reservoir, participates in 10km runs, and occasionally cycles long-distance, covering anywhere between 10km and 100km each time. If that isn't impressive enough, his home exercise regime includes doing 80 to 200 push-ups and squats. WOW!


Says TSS member, Robert Ho, who helps to promote TSS on social media, the biggest challenge TSS face is to change how older people think about health and fitness as they age. Taking supplements is not the answer. Neither is diet alone, although it is good to eat less and go for simple food as close to natural as possible. Equally important is to remain actve throughout the retirement years. Who better to carry this message to all uncles and aunties in Singapore than Ng and Ngai?


If you would like to know more about Team Strong Silvers, check out their Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/TeamStrongSilvers/. Plenty of info, photos and videos, hopefully enough to motivate some of us to adopt a more active and healthy lifetsyle as we enter a new year.

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IS LIFE PASSING US BY?

February 28, 2017, 7:57 am
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In response to requests from friends who had missed the recent launch of The Senior magazine at Petronas KLCC (21 Feb, 2017), I am sharng the slides from my talk on 'Active Ageing'. Here's the first slide (above), and a question for the audience - Do you agree retirement is the best time to enjoy life?

The response would depend very much on whether we have laid the foundation for a successful retirement. If the roots of a sapling do not get enough of the right nutrients, the sapling will not grow into a strong and sturdy tree that will withstand the vagaries of the weather.


Likewise, for our retirement years to be truly golden, we must ensure these six pillars (roots) are firm enough to buttress us against the challenges of our later years. The six pillars: good health, financial security, strong relationships with our family and friends, community service, a belief system to keep us grounded, and lifelong learning to help us grow and improve.


If we do not have all six pillars in place, or if some of these pillars are weak, we need to shore them up. Insufficient savings? Work on a plan to generate some income or cut back on spending. Too old to do the things we have always wanted to do? Says who? Age is just a number that Time has given us. It does not define who we are, or what we want to be. We are the drivers controling the steering wheel of our lives.


Retire from work, but do not retire from life. Live life to the fullest or see it pass us by. The march of time seems merciless as we enter our later years. It is as if the countdown has begun as soon as we hit our 70s, never mind the research studies that show a sharp rise in the number of centenarians worldwide. Do we want to make each moment count, and fill it with happy experiences? Or do we want to withdraw from family, friends and the world outside, and fill our days with regret and remorse, and all the bitterness of a life that could have been. What a sheer waste of precious moments as the clock ticks away.


So get rid of the doldrums and go out. Feel the sunshine and the breeze on your skin. Take time to smell the roses, play with your grandchildren. Recharge. Be grateful that you can get up in the morning to greet another new day. Growing old is a privilege denied to many.


Have fun, travel, explore, discover. This is the time to spend on yourself. Be selfish. The above photo is one of my all-time favorites taken at Gardens by the Bay, Singapore in May 2015. A total of 40 members from SeniorsAloud and U3A (KL and Sgor) went on this 3D2N trip. There was so much to see, do and learn. A truly diverse group of Malaysian seniors spending a fun weekend together.


No need for us to look across the oceans for an inspiring role model of graceful ageing. Right here on our shores we have our former PM's wife, YB Toh Puan Dr Siti Hasmah, 91, to show us how we should live life in our retirement years. We are never too old to pick up new skills. All it takes is a change of mindset and attitude. The world is our oyster if we let it be.


One of the biggest fears of growing old is loneliness and abandonment. This comes from the perception that older people are useless and unproductive. Harbouring such thoughts and feelings can lead to depression, and in some cases, to suicidal tendencies in the elderly. The best way to dispel such negative thoughts and pessimism is to be active. An idle mind is the devil's workshop, right? Join a seniors club or volunteer with an NGO that resonates with you. For a start, why not sign up for courses with University of the Third Age (U3A)? Not only will you widen your circle of friends, you will also enjoy the fun of learning new skills with your peers in a non-threatening environment, without the stress of exams and homework!


The ladies above signed up for U3A acrylic painting course as beginners. They soon discovered they had a flair for painting. The result - an acrylic art exhibition of their masterpieces held in Putrajaya. Goes to show that we are never too old to learn new skills, never too late to unearth our potential. Think of the sense of pride and achievement these ladies must have felt. We can all be like them. Take the initiative to explore new horizons. Be fearless. Never let our age stop us from trying new things that interest us.


When we spend our retirement years living a sedentary lifestyle, our muscles will soon atrophy. We will start complaining of aches and pains all over. And before we even reach our 70s, we become dependent on all kinds of aids, from walking aids to hearing aids and every other aid in between. It's time to get up from our favourite lazy chair and exercise. Don't fancy exercising on your own? Round up some friends for a qigong session, or join a group like Mrs Jagjeet's Nordic Walkers.


There are also groups that organize hiking-camping-cycling trips. Take your pick. Go google, or search Facebook to find out where these groups meet and how you can join them. Making resolutions to lose weight, eat well and exercise regularly produces no results. Translate your resolutions and good intentions into the right action to see results.


Nothing like spending time outdoors in the early mornings or late evenings doing exercises to keep fit. Here are some members of Malaysian Healthy Ageing Society (MHAS) brisk walking in Taman Jaya park a few Sundays ago. In another section of the park was a group of old friends enjoying a quiet board game. Good friends provide a strong support system in our old age. Cherish their friendship.


Don't fancy the physical demands of hiking or cycling? Take up gardening. Mowing the grass, raking dry leaves, carrying flower pots and weeding all help to strengthen our muscles and improve our flexibility. There's also the added joy of eating the fruits of your hard work if you have a garden of fruits, herbs or vegetables. Urban farming is gaining popularity among city residents. U3A also offers short courses on hydroponics, kitchen garden and mushroom cultivation.


Not only should we take care of our physical health, but also our mental health. Use it or lose it applies to our brain as well. Board games are great as mental exercises, so are doing crossword puzzles, sudoku and playing mahjong. All these help us to maintain our mental acuity and hopefully keep Alzheimer's at bay. Here are members of SeniorsAloud enjoying a mentally-stimulating game of Math Magic. The board game was invented by Malaysian Jimmy Yeoh.


The ladies of senior citizens clubs love to dance. We just wish the guys shared the same interest. No matter, as long as the ladies are having fun, the guys are content to sit and watch. Dancing is an enjoyable way to exercise the body. It is liberating as well. The above photo was taken at SeniorsAloud 'Golden Memories' dinner and dance in 2015.


Passion and Compassion - these two values have been at the core of SeniorsAloud's existence from its very beginning in May 2008. Working hard to extend SeniorsAloud's reach and promote an active lifestyle for seniors has become my passion. I am blessed to have a dedicated team of volunteers to support me for our events and projects. Our passion spills over into compassion for others that need a helping hand. We believe firmly that volunteerism adds meaning and purpose to life. There are so many ways we can contribute to community service. Just find the one you are comfortable with, and that works best for you.


For SeniorsAloud we have chosen to help by setting up a small initiative to look into appeals for assistance from the elderly or from NGOs that serve the elderly. Here are some of our past community service efforts made possible with funds raised at our annual dinners.


Given the platform to speak on active ageing to an audience of senior citizens, I could not pass up the opportunity to promote SeniorsAloud and U3A at the launch. I have been told these are the most active senior citizens groups on social media in Malaysia, and possibly in the region. So it should be easy for anyone interested to get in touch with SeniorsAloud or U3A to join their activities. Just google.

These are the 20 slides from my 30-min talk, with some added notes. If you qould like to know more about any of the groups mentioned here, contact SeniorsAloud. We are committed to promoting active living for senior citizens, and will put you in touch with the respective groups.

Delivering my slide presentation on 'Active Ageing' at the launch of The Senior magazine at Petrosains KLCC on 21 Feb 2017. 
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TIME TO GIVE A LEG UP TO RETIREES WHO WANT TO STUDY

March 24, 2017, 5:57 pm
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I wrote a letter to the papers a week ago. If it didn't get published, here is the original below. About time to give a thought if not a boost to retirees who want to get back to school. Not all of us, especially from the middle income group, can afford the fees. A scholarship even a partial one would certainly be a nice gesture of appreciation for all the years we spent working and serving the nation, the community.

TIME TO GIVE A LEG UP TO RETIREES WHO WANT TO STUDY

With the recent release of SPM results, universities and other institutions of higher education are going all out to promote their degree courses. The print media is filled with their ads, and lists of scholarships available to the top scorers. Indeed, school leavers are spoilt for choice at education fairs that are held several times a year.

On the flip side, there is a growing number of people who are left out in the cold when it comes to further education and career opportunities. I am referring to older adults who would like to learn new skills or enrol for a course of study to improve their chances of returning to the work force. What options are available to them? Almost none.

The government has raised the retirement age to 60 to encourage workers to remain working longer and save more for their retirement. But once older employees have left the work place, getting back to it is a huge challenge. Almost all doors are closed to them, no thanks to agesim being alive and well in both the public and corporate sectors. Not many institutions of further education conduct re-training in skills for older adults. Where can they go to upgrade their IT skills, for example? Or learn about digital marketing and entrepreneurship? When it comes to enrolling for a degree course, there are no scholarships available for them. Their chances of getting a bank loan to further their education is practically nil.

One wonders whether conventional thinking has much to do with this practice of agesim - that it is a waste of resources to invest in older people. After all, they do not have many productive years left. But statistics show that people are now living longer and better. In Malaysia, life expectancy has risen to 76, and set to rise even further. In Singapore, it is 85. When we retire at 65, we still have many more productive years ahead to contribute to the economy and nation-building.

With the rising cost of living and the depreciation of the ringgit, few among us can afford to stay retired. Our retirement savings will not be enough to provide financial security for those of us who retire at 55 or even 60. The new credo is to work for as long as we are able, and not depend on our adult children to support us. They have their own financial commitments to deal with.

It is incumbent on the government to provide free or subsidized skills training for older people to enable them to support themselves and to build a bigger retirement nest. With young people getting married at a later age, and delaying raising a family, there will be fewer young people in future to support a growing older population. Unless there are programmes to help older people get back to work, the government will have to face the burden of providing welfare aid for the elderly.

In countries like Vietnam, South Korea and Singapore, ageing in poverty has become a reality. Let's not wait for this to happen in Malaysia.
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17 GOING ON 70

April 13, 2017, 9:36 pm
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On Chap Goh Meh the last day of the celebration of the Rooster Chinese New Year, 40 golden girls from Holy Infant Jesus Convent, Johore Bahru got together. In 1964 they sat for the Malaysian Certificate of Education. They were only 17 years old then and after that they pursued their dreams, embarked on a career, and raised a family. This year 2017, they are now 70 years old - definitely a milestone to celebrate and hold a big reunion at  a local hotel in Johor Baru.

It was indeed a grand reunion as the ladies walked down memory lane together. Thanks to the organisers who were based in JB and the wonders of the internet, emails were sent to set the day and venue.

Many of the ladies had mixed feelings. Would we be able to recognise each other? Would our memory fail us as we recall our classmates' names? But the minute we set eyes on each other, our fears were allayed. Also name tags helped make remembering so much easier. And so there were shrieks of laughter as we renewed friendships.

The emcee had difficulty in calming the excited ladies as they went round to mingle and get their life stories updated. Finally we were all seated ready for the programme.

We started by singing the national anthem Negara Ku, followed by a minute of silence for five teachers and six classmates who had passed  away. We then sang our school song. One verse of the school song was a tribute to the late Sultan Ibrahim who gave the school a statue of Mary which still stands in front of the school to this day. Before lunch was served, the emcee requested a thanksgiving prayer by a Malay classmate followed by a Christian classmate who said grace. The lunch was sponsored by one of the golden girls.

While eating the ladies moved from one table to another to mingle, take photos and reminisce. There was so much merriment and mirth as they exchanged notes on careers and family. Meanwhile the organisers had prepared a video presentation of the photos of yesteryears and again there were guffaws of laughter as we looked at the younger version of our good selves. Oh to be young again was the wistful look on many faces. Other comments were how did we balloon to our present size? In the same breath we were more than thankful that we were all there to celebrate the 7th decade of our lives.

The emcee had a small competition. First we wanted to know which golden girl had the most grandchildren. Our classmate from Perth hah a son who had eight children, their ages ranging from one to fifteen. So she won. The next prize went to the one who had the oldest grandchild. This was won by another classmate who proudly told us that she had received an ang pow from her 26-year old grandson before she came for this reunion! The last prize went to the classmate who travelled the furthest for the reunion. She had come for the reunion all the way from Washington!

Photos of family members were whipped out from the iphones and, believe it or not, there were some anxious mamas who were heard advertising the availability of their unmarried children .....yes match-making in full swing! I can imagine the response from their children if they knew what their mothers were up to. There were also invites to visit from those living abroad.

Next up was the cake-cutting ceremony for those who celebrated their birthdays in February. To get rid of our calories after the sumptuous lunch three golden girls led the others to a session of line dancing. It was really fun and hilarious as they listened to the instructions and tried their best to follow the steps and dance.

The ladies were not going  home empty handed. There were door gifts of smart balance oil given by one classmate, a handicraft from the organisers and a magnetic bookmark given to everyone. This bookmark came from an autistic centre where one of the golden girls was a volunteer.

Sweet 17 in 1964
Yes it was really a joyous reunion .....40 ladies in their 70s and not a white-haired woman around, thanks to the art of dying one's hair! Nobody was in a wheel chair and I noted no one needed a walking stick. The conversations ranged from useful exchanges of homemade remedies, how to get rid of arthritis, frozen shoulder, trigger finger, pigmentation, weight loss, to tips on how to look younger and many more.

But all good things had to come to an end. When it was time to say goodbye, there were more hugs, also more promises to see each other soon, to keep in touch with visits to each other's hometowns. We decided that by the time we reach 75, there should be another big do.

When we reached home there were dozens of photos and messages on our Whatsapp chat, lots of thank-you notes to the organisers who had gone to great lengths to organise this awesome reunion.

Yes, convent girls from the class of 1964, you were sweet 17 then and now in 2017, you are 70 years old but you have all aged well. We look foward to another reunion soon, God willing.

(Article contributed by Linda Lim. In the reunion group photo, she is in the back row, extreme left.)
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SENIORSALOUD'S RAISON D'ETRE - AN INTERVIEW WITH THE FOUNDER

April 17, 2017, 6:37 pm
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"Two keywords have always governed my life - passion and compassion," says Lily Fu, 69. That, in a nutshell, explains the former teacher's attitude towards not just life, but also her work in being an advocate for active ageing.

Fu is the founder of Seniors Aloud, a community platform for senior citizens to learn more about issues that concern them, as well as connect with like-minded souls. While primarily based online, the group regularly carries out activities and events that focus on lifelong learning and community work.

Fu explains that Seniors Aloud started with her first blog post in May 2008. "I became a senior and saw first-hand the issues and gaps faced by people my age," she says. "I decided to start a community, and do what I can to help - the motivation was to start something and slowly spread the word about it."

Among the main issues Seniors Aloud wants to address is getting senior citizens into the digital age and encouraging more avenues for older adults to pick up new skills. With the latter cause, Fu points out that many older adults are increasingly unable to retire. "We may need to dig into our savings for our own parents, or even our children - and things are getting more expensive as well. I think entrepreneurship is a great skill to teach senior citizens; but many retraining opportunities are closed to us. We want to take care of ourselves, so help us do that," she says.


Lifelong learning and community involvement
Another factor Fu credits the beginnings of Seniors Aloud to is her love for lifelong learning. A testament to this is her active involvement with Universiti Putra Malaysia's University of the Third Age (U3A), an institution dedicated to lifelong learning amongst older adults. Based within the university's premises in Serdang, U3A regularly holds non-degree courses on subjects ranging from computing to cooking to even entrepreneurship. She is also currently considering going back to school for a second master's degree.

"I guess it's the same excitement as children feel, when they discover the world around them," says Fu, when explaining her curiosity and desire to learn. "Please get rid of that phrase 'too old' - otherwise you become a dinosaur! If I can get a few seniors to change their mindset (to try new things) - that's what keeps me going."

Seniors Aloud also does its part in giving back to the community through its Grant A Wish for the Elderly fund. The fund is specially allocated for older adults who need some extra support with necessities, such as medical treatment or even tools to help them with their work. Fu offers an example of the sort of beneficiary the fund seeks to help.

"We were introduced to a hawker who had terminal cancer. Since she could no longer work, she was worried about her three sons. Her eldest son was in university on a scholarship, with one more semester left to complete. So we stepped in to pay their rental for 10 months; that gave the son time to graduate and find a job to continue supporting the family," says Fu.

While potential beneficiaries of the fund will be vetted to determine how genuine their needs are, Fu adds that the fund will help in whatever way possible. "If say a senior needs to start a business, and has no money for a computer - let us know. Or if they need a wheelchair, or even if they are thinking of taking a course to learn new skills to find work, we're willing to help," she says.


Living by example
Despite her work on active ageing and being a hands-on grandmother of five, Fu has a constant buzz of energy about her at all times. This zest for life is not just reflected in her passion of exploring the world and constant quest to learn new things, but also in the way she keeps physically fit.

It is a simple regime - walking and relying on public transportation instead of driving for the past 16 years. "My strength training is carrying groceries," she says with a laugh. "I live on the third floor of a low-rise apartment with no lift, so I go up and down the stairs several times a day - that's my exercise. I don't take any supplements, and try to be as natural as possible - lots of walking, fresh air, and sunlight."

Fu believes that there are several main pillars for successful ageing: health, finances, volunteerism, lifelong learning, and relationships. "All of these need to be balanced for a good life," she says. "In fact, I'd add one more pillar - having an 'anchor' or belief system. This could be a religion for some people, or a values system for others. This belief system is important, because without it, there will be no integrity in what you do."

She adds that maintaining healthy emotions is also crucial for living a fulfilling life. Having raised two children as a single parent, and then acting as a caregiver for her own mother, her own bright disposition was something hard earned. "I learnt to not take too many things to heart," she says. "If you hold bitterness in your heart, the only person who suffers is you; it was an epiphany when I realised this. Bitterness is toxic; and it was a huge load off my shoulder when I let go of these bad feelings."


(The above article, written by Priya Kulasagaran, was first published in the April 2017 issue of Urban Health magazine. Worth getting a copy of this month's issue as it comes with a free 49-page booklet on ECO-friendly eating, with lots of yummy, healthy recipes. Available at major bookstores and MyNews outlets at RM5.50 a copy.)

If you wish to participate in any of Seniors Aloud activities, sign up for free membership and monthly e-newsletter at http://www.seniorsaloud.com/p/members-registration.html. To get in touch with Seniors Aloud, send an email to info@seniorsaloud.com.)
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NO AGE LIMIT TO BECOMING GOOGLE-SAVVY

April 28, 2017, 5:56 am
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Kudos to Google Malaysia for organizing Google Cafe for Seniors held today (28 April 2017) at YMCA, Brickfields. Very timely too, as of late I have been bringing up the issue of seniors being left behind in the Digital Age, not just in my recent talk at Petrosains, but also in a letter to The Star, and only yesterday on BFM89.9.

Head of Communications at Google Malaysia, Zeffri Yusof, giving the seniors an overview of what they will be learning.
So what did the seniors learn today? Plenty. With their copy of Google Passport and their smart phones, the seniors went to each of the four stations to learn how to use various apps in Google Search, Google Plan, Google Travel and Google Photo. Although I have been a blogger and administrator of several social media platforms for over a decade, there were new things for me to learn. Always.

The four Google Cafe stations / booths
Many of the seniors had their first experience of virtual reality. Armed with their VR cardboard goggles, they went on Google Expeditions, exploring exciting destinations via 360 degrees virtual reality. So much fun!

Going on an immersive virtual trip via Google Expeditions


To be sure, there was a lot of hand-holding from the facilitators who were only too happy to explain, guide and demonstrate how the apps work. It takes a lot of patience to teach seniors technology, but the Google team were definitely up to the challenge.

Emcee Sabina Wong handling the trivia quiz session 
So much excitement as the groups vied to be the first with the correct answers.
Group representatives in the final challenge on stage.

The last item was a trivia quiz to test their understanding of what they had learned. There was so much excitement and laughter as the four groups tried their best to beat the timer with their answers. The winning team with the highest score received their well-earned prizes from Zeffri.


To conclude the event, the seniors were treated to a delicious buffet lunch, courtesy of Google Malaysia. Final words from Zeffri: "Today's event shows you're never too old to learn about useful technology, and it's never too late to acquaint oneself with the apps and tools on your smart devices to make your day smoother, more productive and fun."

We couldn't agree with you more, Zeffri! Syabas to Google Malaysia for organising a very successful Google Cafe for Seniors.

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SENIORSALOUD ON BFM89.9 - 'NEVER TOO OLD TO LEARN'

May 16, 2017, 1:28 am
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KEEPING THEIR LOVE OF MUSIC ALIVE THROUGH THE YEARS

June 29, 2017, 7:21 pm
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Music played a huge role during our teenage years in the 1960s and 70s. We sang along to hit songs by Cliff Richard, Ricky Nelson, Frankie Avalon, Paul Anka, Johnny Tillotson, Bryan Hyland, and let's not forget their female counterparts like Brenda Lee, Connie Francis, Dusty Springfield, Petula Clark and Helen Shapiro.

We did the jive, rock and roll, twist, ago-go and rumba to bands like Bill Haley and the Comets, The Shadows, The Ventures, The Beach Boys, The Cascades, The Monkees, the Beatles and so many more.



(Above) Who can ever forget 'Shanty' by The Quests? I was still in high school when it shot to the top of the hits charts and stayed there for months.

The 1960s music scene also saw the rise of local bands in Malaysia and Singapore doing cover versions of top hits. They had quite a following among university students, and regularly played at tea dances and concerts. Some of them like the Teenage Hunters, the Falcons, and the Quests (above) were good enough to sign contracts to play overseas in Germany, Hongkong and Vietnam. 



The recording studios were quick to sign up these bands and singers. Virtually every one of them released 45rpm records of their songs. There were Naomi and the Boys, Keith Locke (later replaced by Vernon Cornelius) and the Quests, the Ventures, the Stylers, the Blue Diamonds, Matthew and the Mandarins and others. There was also a proliferation of Malay and Chinese singers and their back-up bands like Jefrydin and Pop Yeh Yeh, and Rita Chao dubbed Queen of A Go-Go, the dance craze at the time.





(Above) Matthew and the Mandarins made famous their original country hit 'Singapore Cowboy'.

While some of the 60s era singers and musicians have passed on, those that have remained never gave up their passion for playing music. They continue to perform at fund-raising events, reunions, and corporate functions. Others like Jimmy Lee have been keeping the memory of Elvis Presley alive via the Elvis Presley Friendship Club of Singapore. Credit also goes to the Singapore government for promoting 1960s music with free concerts in October in conjunction with International Day of Older Persons.


Then there are those, both musicians and fans alike, who gather at each other's homes to jam and sing all those favorites of yesteryears. These get-togethers are always fun, and as research studies show, music is therapeutic and helps to reduce the risk of dementia.


D-Asiatics (above) playing a cover version of 'Midnight in Malaysia' made popular by Boy and His Rollin' Kids.


(Above) Mike Ho & Company: Chow on drums, Paul on rhythm, Jimmy Rampas on bass guitar playing The Shadows classic instrumental 'Apache'.



(Above) Alfred Ho was the winner of Malaysia's first national talentime contest in 1971. He continues to play music today. Do support him. You can catch him busking on most Thursday evenings 5pm to 7pm at Avenue K-KLCC lrt station.

Truly music keeps us feeling young, energetic and socially connected. If we can't play an instrument, we can sing, or dance to music. Music feeds the soul and nourishes it. We need music in our lives. Period.

Related posts:

http://www.seniorsaloud.com/2014/04/flashback-to-swinging-60s.html

http://www.seniorsaloud.com/2014/03/finding-joy-solace-and-therapy-in-music.html

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WHEN COMPASSION ALONE IS NOT ENOUGH

July 18, 2017, 9:49 am
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Some people are blessed with all the good things in life, while others struggle every day of their lives. Good luck is always in short supply. Take a walk in the inner city and you will encounter the poor, the sick and the homeless. The compassionate among us want to reach out and help, but do not know where to begin, or how to go about it. The sheer number of those in need is daunting.

But not all who need help are found on the streets and back lanes of the city. There are many middle class families living in suburban homes who are in dire straits. Who can tell what tales of misfortune lie behind the front door and within those walls? Having a car parked in the front porch does not always reflect the true financial situation of the families occupying those houses. The smiling faces we see in social settings may hide untold tragedies in their lives.

It was against this backdrop that Siew Lim and I from SeniorsAloud team visited Elaine Khaw last Friday afternoon (14 July). Two years ago I had read in an online article 'Malaysia's Forgotten Music Man' that well-known musician Datuk Ooi Eow Jin had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. His wife Elaine had been struggling to look after their elder son who had brain tumour. Now she had the added responsibility of caring for her husband as well. Moved by the story, I made attempts to contact Elaine to see how SeniorsAloud could help. But my efforts were in vain. All my calls went unanswered.

Lovely photo of Ooi and Elaine in happier times. (Photo credit: The Star: 'A Malaysian Musical Legend')
Then out of the blue, about a fortnight ago, Siew Lim said she had met Elaine recently at a teahouse, and had her contact number. We made plans to visit Elaine at her home in Petaling Jaya. Reaching out to Elaine was always on my mind. My mom has Alzheimer's so I knew what she must be going through as a caregiver looking after the two men in her family.

Prized photos. (Left)  Ooi with the legendary P. Ramlee, and (right) receiving his datukship from Yang di-Pertua Negeri Tun Abdul Rahman Abbas in Penang in 2015.
For those not familiar with the story, or with Ooi Eow Jin, his name was synonymous with the RTM orchestra for 17 years in the 1960s and 70s. He gained fame as a songwriter and composer of some of the most popular Malay songs of that era. His checkered career also included 13 years with TV3 and a short stint as a lecturer at Universiti Putra Malaysia, Universiti Teknologi Mara and International College of Music. His last job was with Majestic Hotel where he was the resident pianist for five years.

Ooi entertaining guests at a 2015 charity concert to raise funds for his family.
Those heydays of playing music and recording songs with some of Malaysia's top entertainers like Sudirman, P. Ramlee and Rafael Buang are long gone. The years have passed but Ooi never stopped playing music. It was his only means of supporting his family. Fate dealt him and Elaine a double blow when they lost their younger son, Leong Seng, to leukimia at age 23, and their elder son, Chin Seng, now 53, had brain tumour and required two surgeries. To add to their misfortune, Ooi was diagnosed with early Alzheimer's Disease. This put an end to his piano-playing days at Majestic Hotel in June 2015. He has been jobless since then. He turned 80 last month.

Although able to move about, father and son spend most of the day in bed watched over by Elaine and the maid.

Giving Ooi a shave
The heavy burden of caring for her husband and her sons has left a toll on Elaine. The mental and physical stress is evident. Hanging on the wall of the living room is a portrait of Elaine, still beautiful at age 58. Now, at 78, she has lost much of that joie de vivre. As I spoke with her, I could see the bags under her eyes and the deep lines on her face. I am taking medicine for depression, she tells me.

Elaine has a maid to help her look after the two men during the day, so she could take a break or go out to run errands. But she is entirely on her own at night to watch over Ooi and Chin Seng. Ooi's Alzheimer's has worsened. Chin Seng has problems with his vision after a recent surgery, and has lost his sense of balance. The living room has been turned into a bedroom, and Elaine sleeps on the sofa nearby.

Me, Siew Lim and Elaine - seniors helping seniors whenever we can
Elaine's friends and neighbours as well as Ooi's former colleagues at RTM and TV3 organized two charity concerts in 2015 to raise funds for the family. Without a steady income and with rising monthly expenses for medicine, food and diapers, the funds raised are fast being depleted. Elaine has to fork out RM120 a day for the maid, an expense she can ill afford but necessary as having someone around to help allows her to take a break.

Elaine needs financial help and welcomes donations in kind, especially diapers. If you would like to reach out to Elaine in any way, you can contact Siew Lim at 012-657 3740 for more information
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ELVIS IS STILL IN THE BUILDING!

August 13, 2017, 9:22 am
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What an evening it was at the Elvis 40th Anniversary 'All Shook Up' tribute last Friday 11 August 2017. The ballroom at Serangoon Gardens Country Club shook, rattled and rolled to Jailhouse House Rock and Love Me Tender, and all the hits from an era beloved by the baby boomers all decked out for a rollicking good time. And that they certainly did, thanks to Jimmy Preslee Productions. They brought in four top Elvis Tribute Artistes (ETA) from Thailand, Indonesia and Philippines to entertain the audience, together with two ETAs from Singapore.

I first heard about the event from a good friend Dr Pok Tham Yien from Johor Baru. I have always been an Elvis fan. Of course I wouldn't want to miss the event but tickets were already sold out weeks in advance. Yes, Elvis still lives on in the hearts of his legions of devoted fans. I can't think of anyone in the music pantheon that has left behind such a global following, one that has remained undiminished long after their demise.

Preslee Productions' very first Elvis Tribute was a roaring
success, and paved the way for subsequent tribute concerts.
As luck would have it, Jimmy Lee, the organiser, turned out to be from my hometown Batu Pahat, and my cousin's ex-classmate at BP High School. He called me up with the good news that Judy, his lovely wife, had a ticket for me. One of her friends couldn't make it for the event. We met up at Sim Lim food court on 31 July.  It was over lunch that I discovered how Jimmy Preslee Productions (JPP) came into being.

It all started in 2009 with Jimmy's love of karaoke, especially singing Elvis songs. One thing soon led to another, and he was invited to perform alongside other Elvis performers in Hongkong, Manila and Penang. To cut a long fascinating story short, Jimmy saw the demand for such shows. So he became a show agent and in 2014 organised the inaugural tribute 'Elvis is Back in the Building' under Jimmy Preslee Productions (JPP). It drew such overwhelming response that it has become a JPP staple to feature two Elvis tribute events a year.

Here's a snapshot of the recent 'All Shook Up' Elvis 40th Anniversary Tribute:

A sold-out event. Can't go wrong with an Elvis tribute. Baby boomers love songs that bring back fond memories of the 1960s era.
(Left & right) NONIE ELVIS YAMBAO from Philippines and ELVICH PHATIHATAKORN from Thailand (centre). Below: TITUS CHEONG from Singapore


JIMMY PRESLEE from Singapore, JUDY CHONG LEE (yes, Jimmy's lovely wife emcees and sings too), and HANCHE PRESLEY from Indonesia 
Close-up of the three Elvis ETAs (Photo credit: Judy Chong Lee)
Judy and Jimmy Preslee
~ the driving force behind JPP
I asked Judy what is the difference between an Elvis impersonator and an Elvis artiste? Her quick reply: 'Elvis impersonators usually exaggerate and do some clowning around. ETAs don Elvis outfits and try to sing Elvis songs just like the King himself.' Ok. Got it. ETAs are serious professionals whose mission is to keep alive the legacy of Elvis Presley through songs and concerts. I have listened to many ETAs over the years, and I must say some of them are really incredible. They sound and look almost like the King himself.

Judging from the enthusiasm of the audience, especially the ladies, it was an evening to remember - a marathon singalong and dancethon. These baby boomers sure know how to have a fabulous time!

These ladies definitely have Happy Feet. They kept the energy and fun level high the entire evening. A tough act for the guys to follow!



(Jimmy's video above by Oei Seok Cheng. Thanks, Seok Cheng.) 

The ETAs were not the only ones on stage. The good-looking duo of ELVICH and KNIGHT PHATIHATAKORN from Thailand were a big hit with the ladies. They sang 'Let It Be Me' and 'Sound of Silence' and had the ladies literally swooning!


Special mention must be made of the band BABY BOOMERS, also called the Philippines Elvis Band. They provided excellent backup for all the singers and performed a couple of songs on their own too. On keyboard is band leader Lui Simbulan, with Gerry Yap on lead guitar, Bork De Leon on bass guitar and Tim Ponce on drums. Both Gerry and Bork sing in the band.


As I made my way around the ballroom, what caught my roving camera eyes were the many gorgeous ladies of Singapore. Here are pictures of some of them, all taken with their knowledge and permission. It is invariably the ladies who determine the success (or failure) of a dinner and dance event. If the ladies don't dance because the music is terrible, the event is heading for one big yawn.

Some of the lovely ladies I spotted in the ballroom. Too many photos to post all here.
One of the guys that caught my attention...for the tee he was wearing :-)

The first of two tributes this year. This one was
in March 2017.
This is the second Elvis tribute this year, so that means Elvis fans in Singapore will have to wait till 2018 for the next one. I am sure JPP is up to the challenge of giving loyal Elvis fans another unforgettable tribute as successful as, or perhaps even more successful than 'All Shook Up', if that is possible. If you are a die-hard fan and can't wait, make your way up to Kuala Lumpur. I hear there are Elvis tribute shows this weekend. Check out our SeniorsAloud FB page for more details.

Ladies (and guys), if you are reading this and would like to learn line-dancing or join a line dance group in Singapore, I can put you in touch with Judy. Contact me at 012-3068291 (only whatsapp messages, please). For Kuala Lumpur/PJ, I can recommend my club that teaches line dancing and ballroom dancing as well. As my cousin Lawrence puts it, "At our age, we should be rocking around the clock!" Agree absolutely, Life is for living, not for existing.

And to Jimmy and Judy: don't keep us waiting too long for the next Elvis tribute, or he will have left the building!
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FAMILY BONDING THROUGH RUNNING

September 30, 2017, 8:54 am
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Congratulations to Mr Kor Hong Fatt, 85, for winning gold in the 10,000m (Men's 85 age group) at the just concluded 20th Asia Masters Athletics Championship (24-28 Sept 2017) in Rugao, China. He is an inspiring role model for the rest of us.

My son-in-law, Dr Ansgar Cheng, 51, was also in the same Masters Championship. He ran in heavy rain to bag a silver in the 5000m in the 50-54 category for men with a time of 17:52. On his first day back at work after returning from Rugao, his clinic staff welcomed him back with a framed photo of him wearing his silver medal. It must have been a lovely surprise for him. He received another round of congratulations later at the CCAB track from his coach Rameshon (below right) and fellow FlexiFitness running mates.


My elder daughter, Moon, 48, took up running initially to join husband Ansgar and their two daughters, Allie and Hana. But she soon developed her own passion for the sport as well. Now she trains three times a week with the family at the CCAB track. She recently ran her personal best (PB) of sub-1hr in the 10km in the POSB Run 2017. Moon was recently interviewed about her interest in running. Click here to read about how she went from couch potato to running mom. Her next run is the Great Eastern Run where she hopes to up her PB.


My younger daughter, Belle, 46, hates running, but is passionate about yoga, kick-boxing and zumba classes, preferring to sweat it out in air-conditioned comfort on a carpeted floor, rather than pounding the tracks (or road) under the hot sun. If results are measured by weight loss and muscle gain, both have certainly achieved their goal and more.


All my four older grandchildren had an early start in sports, especially in running. At the age of five, they had already entered competitions, starting with school sports, then graduating to bigger races and competitions. Max, 17, was a regional triathlete until recently when he decided to cut back on competitions. He has been interviewed on Nickelodeon. His sister, Reiya, 12, is following in his footsteps, and has turned out to be a budding triathlete with medals to show for it.


Allie, 14, and Hana, 13, have been improving steadily in their PB. They enjoy their training 3-4 times a week, and occasionally enter competitive races. Allie emerged second in the POSB Run 5km Open (for women), and Hana was fifth in the inter-school cross-country earlier this year. I have no doubt they will be adding to their haul of medals and trophies in races to come.

That leaves two more in the family to mention - the oldest (that's me) and the youngest (that's Ryder). I hung up my running shoes a long long time ago, preferring to do brisk walking and line dancing for fitness. I used to spend hours at the gym five times a week in the 1980s. I was a fitness fanatic then. I remember sometimes doing three hours on the treadmill on top of strength training and aerobics.

Now that I am staying with the Chengs while studying for a one-year full time course at NTU, who knows I may just get back into running, or at least slow jogging. Moon registered me for the Shape Run last month, and also for the upcoming Great Eastern Run next month. I am more likely to walk than run, as I have not been training at all. But it's a start at age 69.

Just after the Shape Run - my first road event in almost 30 years! I survived it.
Finally, there's my grandson, Ryder, 3+. This little superboy became a small YouTube sensation when his dad posted a video of him dribbling a football at 13 months. Watch how he fell, picked himself up, and continued. I am glad he still has this trait of trying and trying till he succeeds. He loves to show off his physical abilities, from planking to cycling, and now swimming. He has just started taking jiu jitsu classes. Ryder wants to emulate big bro Max and be a champ and a finisher in all he does. The sports world is his oyster.


As the saying goes, the family that runs together, stays together. It's great for intergenerational bonding, not just within your own family, but also with other families that run. An excellent example is the team from FlexiFitness. The group has grown, and resembles an extended family where the parents train together with their children, and everyone is so supportive of one another.


If you are in KL/PJ, and would like to pick up running, or join a runners group, check out KLCC Runners Group. If you live in Singapore, I recommend FlexiFitness. You won't find a better coach than Coach Rameshon. He holds the national record of 2hr 24min 22sec for the men's marathon - unbroken since 1995.

As more older adults take up running and other sports, the Masters Athletics Championship will likely get more competitive. I am sure Ansgar is keen to represent Singapore again in the Masters next year, and the next. After all, Mr Kor started running at 75. Now at 85, he is still running and winning. Salute!

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WHAT DO SENIOR CITIZENS IN MALAYSIA WANT? (Updated)

October 28, 2017, 8:38 pm
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As expected, the recent Budget 2018 delivered by the PM last Friday was a huge disappointment for senior citizens and the elderly. Once again, they are given crumbs. So, that begs the question, what can our government offer us older Malaysians to make us happy and looking forward to our retirement years? We have given 30-40 of our prime years in the service of the country. Surely that must merit some recognition and appreciation?

We want an outdoor gym for seniors in every housing estate and public park where we can exercise

Let's start with what we don't want first. We don't want awards and titles, for they benefit only a few selected individuals, not the community. We don't want one-off or annual cash handouts which offer only short-term benefits to the needy. We want genuine senior discounts on groceries, health supplements, fuel and meals, and other essentials.

Above all, we want to be accorded respect and dignity, not ignored or seen as unproductive and a burden to society

We certainly don't want empty pre-election promises of what the government can do or will do for us. We don't want vague references to what it plans to do for seniors. We want details, specifics and deadlines. And if the government doesn't deliver, we have the right to protest, to hold it accountable if it reneges on its word, and to withhold our vote if any of our under-performing ministers should stand for re-election. That's not a threat or a warning, but a straightforward case of cause and effect, action (or non-action) and reaction.

So, what do we want?


Here's a short checklist to begin with for the relevant ministeries to take note of. In no particular order.
  • more elder-friendly facilities in public places e.g. government buildings, parks and hospitals. More benches to rest weary feet, decent public toilets, priority queues for the elderly, etc.
  • a public transport system (and transport hubs) that takes into account the physical limitations of the elderly and OKUs. There has been vast improvement in the MRT-LRT lines, but bus transport and the peripherals suck, and need urgent upgrading.
  • a senior privilege card with genuine discounts that covers items seniors regularly spend on. By 'genuine' we mean 'without a long list of terms and conditions' or means-tested. The govenment should give seniors a discount card similar to the one for university students.
  • well-maintained and fully-equipped senior community centres in every housing area or constituency, not the rundown balai raya that we see at present. 
  • more opportunties for re-training and re-employment of seniors so they can return to the work force to supplement their savings
  • more affordable nursing care for those who require long term care, and well-managed welfare homes for the elderly 
  • lifelong learning programmes similar to that offered at University of the Third Age at UPM Serdang to be extended to more areas 
  • no age discrimination but respect for all seniors, please
      An impossible dream?

      If you click on any of the links above, you will find that SeniorsAloud has been making these proposals as far back as 2009. We will continue to voice our concerns till we are heard.

      To give credit where credit is due, we appreciate the government's efforts in making public healthcare accessible and affordable to seniors. We welcome the discounts for seniors travelling on trains and buses. We also acknowledge the financial assistance given for funeral expenses (!) under the Mesra Usia Emas Scheme and other schemes. 

      With seniors making up 8.8% of the population and growing steadily, Malaysia is on its way to becoming an ageing nation in the next 10-15 years. UN defines a country as ageing when 7% of its population is aged 65 and above.

      But these provisions are either limited, too slow in implementation, or if already available are not efficiently maintained or managed. Moreover, most of these are concentrated in the Klang Valley. What about in other states? What about in Sabah and Sarawak? What is the govt doing for the wellbeing of the seniors and the elderly in these areas? Is it sufficient?

      Each year when the budget is announced, we scan the papers looking for some tiny morsels of good news for seniors, only to be disappointed yet again. To quote from the 11th Malaysia Plan for 2016-20, 'supporting active ageing for the elderly'and 'the government will address the needs of...the elderly'. (The Star 22/5/15). That was two years ago. Has there been signifcant follow-up action? What do you think?

      How long do senior citizens and the elderly in Malaysia have to wait before they hear these words from our ministers? Words are cheap, unless they are backed by prompt and effective action.

      Our ministers are seniors themselves. Like us, they have elderly parents. The big difference is we are from the grassroots, they are from the ivory towers. One day they too will be elderly. Isn't it time they gave more attention to what senior citizens and the elderly want?

      (The above is an updated version of a blog article written in May 2015.)

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      LIVING TOGETHER IN GENUINE HARMONY

      November 7, 2017, 10:08 pm
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      Sunday mornings used to find me teaching Bible classes in church. That seemed like a lifetime ago. I left when I found my personal belief system and values at odds with the lessons I was conducting in Sunday school. Almost all the major religions claim theirs is the true religion that guarantees salvation for their disciples and followers, but eternal hell and condemnation for all others. They claim too that their religion is the one and only path to God. There are just too many false prophets around trying to convert the naive. I often wonder if all the religious strife in the world today is the result of man's (mis)interpretation of the holy books. I may change my belief systems in future. I don't know. But for now, I believe in universal truths and in the basic goodness that we all have within us.

      What triggered my thoughts on this subject was an article published in the Straits Times yesterday (7/Nov/2017) by NUS Prof Tommy Koh who is also Ambassador-at-large at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, Singapore. He touched on the importance of cultural intelligence as one of at least three kinds of intelligence we need to succeed in life. The others are cognitive intelligence and emotional intelligence. By cultural intelligence, he means being ready to accept the cultural differences of others in order to make friends and build relationships.

      I agree absolutely with him. Diversity is very important to me. I make it a point to seek it in my friends, in my activities and also in my studies. Diversity enriches our experiences, and enhances creativity and innovation. It is sad that in Malaysia today we are seeing a rise in exclusivity, elitism and segregation in our schools and universities, in our workplace and in our social circles. This does not bode well for our future as a nation.


      I am also reminded of a National Day speech given by Singapore's PM Lee Hsien Loong in 2009 where he spoke about the risks of religious fervour in a multi-racial society. What he says is applicable to the Malaysian context too. After all, both countries had a shared history for many years. I reproduce excerpts below taken from the Straits Times. You can also follow the speech on Youtube.

      "SO WHAT are these risks? Let me just highlight three of them.

      Aggressive preaching - proselytisation. You push your own religion on others, you cause nuisance and offence. You have read in the papers recently about a couple who surreptitiously distributed Christian tracts which were offensive of other faiths, not just of non-Christians but even of Catholics. They were charged and sentenced to jail.

      But there are less extreme cases too which can cause problems. We hear, from time to time, complaints about groups trying to convert very ill patients in our hospitals, who don't want to be converted, and who don't want to have the private difficult moments in their lives intruded upon.

      Intolerance is another problem - not respecting the beliefs of others or not accommodating others who belong to different religions. You think of this one group versus another group, but sometimes it happens within the same family.

      Sometimes we have parents from traditional religions whose children have converted. The parents have asked to be buried according to traditional rites and their children stay away from the funeral or the wake. It's very sad. From a traditional point of view, it's the ultimate unfilial act but it does happen occasionally.

      Exclusiveness is a third problem - segregating into separate exclusive circles, not integrating with other faiths. That means you mix with your own people. You'll end up as separate communities.

      FOUR BASIC RULES

      WE can never take our racial and religious harmony for granted. We must observe some basic principles to keep it the way it is.

      First, all groups have to exercise tolerance and restraint. Christians cannot expect this to be a Christian society, Muslims cannot expect this to be a Muslim society. Ditto the Buddhists, the Hindus and the other groups. Many faiths share this island. Each has different teachings, different practices. Rules which only apply to one group cannot become laws which are enforced on everyone. So Muslims don't drink alcohol but alcohol is not banned. Ditto gambling, which many religions disapprove of, but gambling is not banned. All have to adopt 'live and let live' as our principle.

      Secondly, we have to keep religion separate from politics. The People's Action Party reminds our candidates, don't bring all the friends from your own religious group. Don't mobilise your church or your temple or your mosque to campaign for you. Bring a multi-racial, multi-religious group of supporters. When you are elected, represent the interest of all your constituents, not just your religious group in Parliament. Speak for all your constituents.

      Thirdly, the Government has to remain secular. The Government's authority comes from the people. The laws are passed by Parliament which is elected by the people. They don't come from a sacred book. The Government has to be neutral, fair. We are not against religion. We uphold sound moral values. We hold the ring so that all groups can practise their faiths freely without colliding. That's the way Singapore has to be.

      You may ask: Does this mean that religious groups have no views, cannot have views on national issues? Or that religious individuals cannot participate in politics? Obviously not.

      Religious groups are free to propagate their teachings on social and moral issues. And obviously many Christians, Hindus, Muslims, Buddhists participate in politics. In Parliament, we have people of all faiths. In the Cabinet too. People who have a religion will often have views which are informed by their religious beliefs. It's natural because it's part of you, it's part of your personality.

      But you must accept that other groups may have different views informed by different beliefs and you have to accept that and respect that. The public debate cannot be on whose religion is right and whose religion is wrong. It has to be on secular, rational considerations of public interest - what makes sense for Singapore.

      The final requirement for us to live peacefully together is to maintain our common space that all Singaporeans share. It has to be neutral and secular because that's the only way all of us can feel at home in Singapore and at ease.
      COMMON SPACES

      Sharing meals. We have different food requirements. Muslims need halal food. Hindus don't eat beef. Buddhists sometimes are vegetarian. So if we must serve everybody food which is halal, no beef and vegetarian, I think we will have a problem. We will never eat meals together. So there will be halal food on one side, vegetarian food for those who need it, no beef for those who don't eat beef. Let's share a meal together, acknowledging that we are not the same. Don't discourage people from interacting. Don't make it difficult for us to be one people.

      Our schools are another example of common space where all races and religions interact. Even in mission schools run by religious groups, the Ministry of Education has set clear rules, so students of all faiths will feel comfortable. You might ask: Why not allow mission schools to introduce prayers or Bible studies as compulsory parts of the school activity or as part of school assembly? Why not? Then why not let those who are not Christian, or don't want a Christian environment, go to a government school or go to a Buddhist school? Well, if they do that, we'll have Christians in Christian schools, Buddhists in Buddhist schools, Muslims in schools with only Muslim children and so on. I think that is not good for Singapore. Therefore, we have rules to keep all our schools secular and the religious groups understand and accept this.

      Another example of common space - work. The office environment should be one which all groups feel comfortable with. Staff have to be confident that they will get equal treatment even if they belong to a different faith from their managers - especially in government departments, but in the private sector too. I think it can be done because even religious community service organisations often have people who don't belong to that religion working comfortably and happily together. This is one very important aspect of our meritocratic society.

      THIS is an unusually serious and heavy subject for a National Day Rally. Normally, you talk about babies, hongbaos, bonuses. No bonuses tonight but a bonus lecture on a serious subject. We discussed this in Cabinet at length and decided that I should talk about this. I crafted the points carefully, circulated them many times. Different presentations in Mandarin, Malay and English, because different groups have different concerns, but a consistent message so that there's no misunderstanding.

      I also invited the religious leaders to come and spend the evening with us tonight. They can help us to help their flocks understand our limitations, to guide them to practise their faiths, taking into account the context of our society. Please teach them accommodation, which is what all faiths teach. I look forward to all the religious groups continuing to do a lot of good work for Singapore for many years to come.

      So let us rejoice in our harmony but let us never forget what being a Singaporean means. It's not just tolerating other groups but opening our hearts to all our fellow citizens.

      OUR FUTURE
      IF WE stay cohesive, then we can overcome our economic challenges and continue to grow. This is how we've transformed Singapore over the last half century - solving problems together, growing together, improving our lives. From the Singapore River to Marina Bay, we've totally transformed Singapore over the last half century. 1959 was a moment of great change but nobody at the Padang in June 1959 imagined the change in today's Singapore. We will continue to improve our lives, provided we work together and remain a harmonious and a cohesive society so that in another 50 years, we would have built another Singapore, which is equally unimaginable today.

      The key is to stay united through rain or shine. To live peacefully together, we need good sense and tolerance on all sides, and a willingness to give and take. Otherwise, whatever the rules there will be no end of possible causes of friction."



      With the elections looming, it is open season for political campaigners to start their rabble rousing. There will be the loose cannons ever ready to shoot incendiary rhetoric from their mouths without a thought about the damage they are inflicting on our multi-ethnic, multi-cultural society. There is never a more urgent time to embrace unity in diversity than now.
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      AN INVITATION TO A DIALOGUE WITH TIME

      November 17, 2017, 2:12 am
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      Let's face it - all of us are ageing from the day we are born. Each birthday is a reminder of our mortality. But ageing is not all gloom and doom. Ageing is about living each day in ways that will add to our wellbeing. It is about learning and preparing for the future so that we can avoid the comorbidities and disabilities that often accompany old age. Ageing is very much an individual journey and a personal experience. It begins with embracing ageing, knowing how to cope with the challenges of ageing, and what to do to prepare for the future.

      32 seniors aged 65 to 85 were selected and trained as exhibition guides. They will explain the activities and share personal stories and memories.

      What better way to learn about ageing than at the Dialogue With Time exhibition currently being held at Science Centre Singapore. I spent two hours there recently in an immersive experiential tour of the exhibition, and came away feeling much more optimistic about the future. Dialogue with Time is an excellent platform to promote awareness of what ageing involves, and what we should do to remain healthy and active in our retirement years. Longevity becomes a bane if the extra years are filled with pain, loneliness and suffering.

      In one of the activities in the Blue Room, visitors were asked to choose from a stack of photos one that resonated with them most, and explain their choice. My choice - a happy 3-generation family.

      The exhibition is for the entire family. The best time to prepare for the future is now. It starts with the importance of laying an early foundation for successful ageing. That way the retirement years will find us enjoying good health, financial security and happy relationships with family and friends.

      Here's a quick tour of the exhibition in pictures.

      The first stop to watch a video of little Danielle ageing in all of five minutes! You can view the full video here.



      In the Blue Room, senior guides Serene, 66, and Ray, 72, share their favourite memories.

      Activity: pick any 5 cards and complete the sentence. We all know many older people who still enjoy learning and still retain a spirit of adventure and a sense of fun.
      The Yellow Room where some of the challenges of ageing are highlighted e.g. difficulty in walking, climbing stairs, hearing loss and failing vision.
      Want to know what it feels like to move around like an old person? Try walking with 4kg weights strapped to your feet!
      More challenging activities: listening to and following instructions, inserting a key into a keyhole and testing your hand-eye coordination.
      An opportunity to test my eyes. All good. Hope it stays that way.
      The Pink Room where visitors can watch videos of five seniors sharing their experiences on work, love and life in general. Inspiring.
      Some of the topics include 'Finding Love Online' and 'Re-employment of Seniors'.
      The White Room where visitors can view an interactive video and quiz on 'Future of Ageing' in Singapore, e.g. life expectancy of Singaporeans, number of centenarians in Singapore.
      Which one would you choose? Are all of the above important to you?
      Singapore's action plan for successful ageing
      Happy Years Kopitiam - for a good strong cup of coffee and a chat about the good old days.
      Just a small sampling of the exhibits in the science and technology zones that span robotics, assistive devices, telemedicine and much more.
      Tried this out and was relieved to hear the strong and regular beat of my heart.
      A must-try. Quite fascinating (and scary!) to see how we look as we 'age'. Smoking and UV rays make us age faster, so be warned.
      Take note of the nine ingredients for healthy ageing
      Remember to pick up a complimentary copy of 'I Feel Young' at the Happy Years Kopitiam
      Some of the senior guides with June Chen, (far right), Assistant Manager, Exhibition Group, Science Centre. Thanks for the guided tour of the exhibition.
      For more info, click HERE to visit the website

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      SENIORSALOUD 2017 IN REVIEW (Part 1: Events)

      December 30, 2017, 1:22 am
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      2017 has been a most eventful year for SeniorsAloud. Not only did we see a rise in our community membership, but also more traffic to our FB page. It warms our hearts when strangers recognise us in public places and come up to say "You are from SeniorsAloud? Keep up the good work!" We most certainly will!

      This year we collaborated with several organisations like Freedom Film Network (FFN) Malaysia, University of the Third Age (U3A), Petrosains Discovery Centre KLCC, Grab, Third Age Media and Pitstop Community Cafe. We were also fortunate to have experts in various fields come and share their knowledge and expertise with our members at our monthly events. They include image consultant Sheila Wong, TCM specialist Dr Kong Why Hong, Qigong instructor Wan Chee Wing, Nordic Walking founder Mrs Jagjeet Singh and financial consultant Lee Hock Chye.

      Thanks to the media, more people now know about SeniorsAloud and what we do. We have been interviewed by BFM89.9, and by monthly health magazine Urban Health.

      But most of all, we thank our members, friends and followers of our blog and FB page for staying with us (and spreading the word) and supporting our events. We hope for your continued support in 2018 and beyond.

      Here is a look back at SeniorsAloud events in 2017, from January to December:
















      As we have mentioned before, 2018 marks our 10th anniversary. Members can expect even more exciting events and activities from SeniorsAloud to celebrate our first decade as arguably the one and only online community in Malaysia/Singapore run by seniors for seniors to promote lifelong learning and active living. Cheers!

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      SENIORSALOUD 2017 IN REVIEW (Part 2: e-Newsletters)

      December 30, 2017, 4:56 am
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      SeniorsAloud started the e-newsletter primarily to reach out to members who do not have an FB account and do not want to have an account. Since our first issue in June 2014, we have emailed the newsletter without fail every month to those who have registered with SeniorsAloud.

      However, we have members telling us they have not received any newsletters. We can offer three possible explanations:
      • there was a typing error in their email address
      • their email address is no longer valid - e.g. @pd.jaring.com, @streamyx.com, @tm.net.my and @unifi.my
      • the newsletter went to another email box - e.g. the Promotions box for those using gmail.
      We suggest that they re-register. Once they have submitted the online form, they will receive an email to confirm their registration. Our registration form asks only for basic info e.g. name, year of birth, email address and contact number. We do not require your IC number or address. The rest are optional. We take confidentiality of info seriously.   

      Here is a look back at our 2017 newsletter announcements, from December to January. They served to alert members to check their email, and also to promote membership drive. We hope the effort is not wasted. 













      The January 2018 newsletter will be out soon. Do check your mail box. Happy New Year!

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      HOW SHOULD WE REFER TO OLDER ADULTS?

      January 2, 2018, 9:05 pm
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      Would older adults accept being addressed as 'perennials'? 

      When I started this blog in May 2008, I had several names in mind for the blog. Unfortunately all of them were already taken. I must have tried at least 20 names in total, with the same result each time - 'not available'. In frustration I gave it one final go with 'SeniorsAloud'. The name had popped into my mind at that last minute. To my surprise, it was accepted.

      Both my daughters didn't like the name at all. They probably felt that with a name like SeniorsAloud, the blog would interest only old people. Of course, I went on the defensive. What did they mean by 'old'? I was about to turn 60 at the time, and didn't feel at all a day over 40. Neither was I frail, and definitely nowhere close to being senile.

      Let me ask my readers, does the word 'senior' have a negative connotation? What sort of image springs to mind at the mention of 'senior citizen'? I have good friends who would cringe with horror at being referred to as one, even though they are 60+ and retired. To them, that's as good as sounding the death knell!

      The problem with labels is they are generic. 'Old' people are painted with the same brush, and in the same grey colour. But there are so many different shades and hues of grey. If the 50+ and 60+ are not quite ready to be called old, how then would you address them? The 'young old'? That doesn't work either. And are the 70+ the 'old old'? These are terms used by researchers in social sciences and gerontology. What other terms of reference do we have? The pre-war and post war generations? Baby Boomers? Equally cumbersome and inadequate. (Photo: My cousins - no way would anyone in their right mind call them 'elderly'! Henry is about the coolest dad I know, and Siew Kin is one fabulously gorgeous mom, inside out. Both are in their early 60s at the time of writing.)

      People are living longer so new age categories are needed. I am now considered 'middle-aged'.
      Quite often the media is guilty of mislabeling. "Elderly man victim of snatch thief", says one headline. You read the news report and find that the victim was aged 63. I am turning 70 soon. I can deal with being called a senior citizen as that is what I am. But 'elderly'? Not by a mile. But young reporters are incapable of making that age distinction. To someone in their 20s, 63 is practically ancient.

      So until we come up with age appropriate labels, I suppose baby boomers like us will have to forgive the young for addressing us as 'old' and 'elderly'.

      I'm glad I stuck with the name "Seniorsaloud" for this blog. It has garnered a readership that is steadily growing. It has caught the attention of certain policy-makers on ageing issues in Singapore and Malaysia. It has been mentioned in the local media on several occasions. Some of the articles have been published in reputable magazines. Some years back, I received an email from a program producer at CNN asking for my views on a seniors-related topic. That was a real morale booster!

      My SeniorsAloud card which I refer to as my 'passion card', rather than my business or name card.

      All those hours of writing and researching are finally paying off in terms of recognition. Now we are hoping some big corporations would step in and sponsor a Seniorsaloud event. That would be taking Seniorsaloud to the next level where it can harness the expertise and experience of retirees for projects that would benefit the community of senior citizens. Seniorsaloud has no shortage of ideas to achieve this objective, and we welcome collaborations with organisations and companies to promote active, healthy living for seniors.

      Here's what Prof Laura Carstensen of Stanford University's Centre on Longevity says about the term 'perennials' for older people.


      Click HERE to read the full article (Straits Times 2 Jan, 2018)

      "Perennials make clear that we are still here, blossoming again and again. It also suggests a new model of life in which people engage and take breaks, making new starts repeatedly. Perennials aren't guaranteed to blossom year after year, but given proper conditions, good soil and nutrients, they can go on for decades."

      I personally like 'perennials'.  It has a youthful, forever-spring feel to it. But I am not too sure if the word will gain wide acceptance. What do readers think?

      (Postscript: The above is an updated version of an article first posted in April 2011. An edited version was subsequently published in the Star.)

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      THE DOWNSIDE OF GROWING OLD...BUT WHY DWELL ON IT?

      January 10, 2018, 8:30 pm
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      Old people love to complain. They are never satisfied with anything. True or false? The answer is probably True. But they do have valid reasons for their grouses.

      Let's put ourselves in the shoes of an 80+ old man. He has limited funds so he complains about soaring prices and GST. He recalls the old days when a cup of kopitiam coffee cost only 40 cents. Now it's RM1.80 at the mamak stall. The reason why you don't see many old people at Starbucks - it pains them to spend RM10 on a cup of coffee!

      There was a time when he could travel and enjoy an active social life. These days he is mostly at home, unable to venture out alone because he no longer drives and there's no one free to take him out. His perennially-busy adult children have little time for him.

      Once upon a time he lived to eat. Now he eats to live. His diet is restricted to low fat, less sugar and salt-free foods. How bland! No more spicy, oily deep-fried hawker food for him, no more culinary indulgences, all because he has a host of health problems.

      His old hobbies no longer interest him. He doesn't read much because of poor vision. He has little interest in watching tv as the programs don't appeal to him. He misses the songs and movies of the 50s and 60s. He can't enjoy the videos on YouTube or listen to TEDtalks as he is computer-illiterate, and refuses to learn.

      As a young man, he was blessed with good health and vitality. Now the passage of time has reduced him to a frail shadow of his former self, with all the accompanying aches and pain of old age. He wakes up in the morning, and wonders how to pass the long hours ahead.


      Few friends drop by to see him, as they are in the same boat as he is, or have passed away. So he sits in his arm-chair or lies in bed the whole day long with only his memories to keep him company.

      It is no wonder old people are bitter and grouchy. They have all the time in the world to gripe about everything under the sun, from high prices to corrupt politicians, and 1001 things in between. Such unpleasant company to be in.

      What a horrible way to grow old!

      It is the same with old women too. They still complain but much less than their husband. The big difference is they have more to keep them busy like helping with the grandchildren, doing community work or taking up some short courses. Maybe that's why they live longer. (Men, take note. Find something to keep you happily occupied.)

      We can't stop growing old, but we can certainly choose how we want to grow old. It's all about attitude.


      We can choose to grow old complaining about things from A to Z. Or we can choose to focus our attention on the things that make us happy, like our grandchildren, like being able to look back at happy times with fondness, and not compare them with the present just to complain. 'The past is a place of reference, The past is not a place of residence.' Move on. The present is where we are - make the most of it.

      There is little point in harping on things that can't be changed. We should learn to accept whatever unfortunate circumstances we are dealt with and make the best of the situation. We can make our lives worth living.


      The above is an updated version of an earlier article I wrote in 2012. I am reposting it in response to Betty White's quote in the Straits Times today (11 Jan 2018). She turns 95 this year. It is a timely reminder to look at life on the bright side. Negative feelings and thoughts can fester and lower our immune system against diseases. It drains us of our energy to keep dwelling on our pains and aches, fears and regrets. Besides, no one wants to be in the company of grouchy old people, not even their grandchildren, right?
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      LIVING A FULFILLING LIFE

      February 28, 2018, 10:36 pm
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      In February 2017 I gave a talk at the launch of The Senior magazine at Petrosains KLCC. I was then the editor of the magazine. It was my second time speaking at the venue. The first was on the topic 'Staying Relevant in the Digital Age', and the second was on 'Active Living for Seniors'. The Facebook memory I received this morning (March 1, 2018) reminded me of the talk. So I am sharing the slides here for those who missed the talk.


      Here's the first slide (above), and a question for the readers - Do you agree retirement is the best time to enjoy life? I can almost hear the YES and NO.

      The response would depend very much on whether we have laid the foundation for a successful retirement. If the roots of a sapling do not get enough of the right nutrients, the sapling will not grow into a strong and sturdy tree that will withstand the vagaries of the weather.


      Likewise, for our retirement years to be truly golden, we must ensure these six pillars (roots) are firm enough to buttress us against the challenges of our later years. The six pillars: good health, financial security, strong relationships with our family and friends, community service, a belief system to keep us grounded, and lifelong learning to help us grow and improve.


      If we do not have all six pillars in place, or if some of these pillars are weak, we need to shore them up. Insufficient savings? Work on a plan to generate some income or cut back on spending. Too old to do the things we have always wanted to do? Says who? Age is just a number that Father Time has given us. It does not define who we are, or what we want to be. We are the drivers controling the steering wheel of our lives.


      Retire from work, but do not retire from life. Live life to the fullest or see it pass us by. The march of time seems merciless as we enter our later years. It is as if the countdown had begun as soon as we hit our 70s, never mind the research studies that show longevity is on the rise as evident in a new demographic category of super-centenarians worldwide - those aged 100 and above. Do we want to make each moment count, and fill it with happy experiences? Or do we want to withdraw from family, friends and the world outside, and fill our days with regret and remorse, and all the bitterness of a life that could have been otherwise. What a sheer waste of precious moments as the clock ticks away the minutes.


      So get rid of the doldrums and go out. Feel the sunshine and the breeze on your skin. Take time to smell the roses, play with your grandchildren. Recharge. Be grateful that you can get up in the morning to greet another new day. Growing old is a privilege not everyone gets to experience.


      Have fun, travel, explore, discover. This is the time to spend on yourself. Be selfish. The above photo is one of my all-time favorites taken at Gardens by the Bay, Singapore in May 2015. A total of 40 members from SeniorsAloud and U3A (KL and Sgor) went on this 3D2N trip. There was so much to see, do and learn. A truly diverse group of Malaysian seniors spending a fun weekend together.


      No need for us to look across the oceans for an inspiring role model of graceful ageing. Right here on our shores we have our former PM's wife, YB Toh Puan Dr Siti Hasmah, 92 now, to show us how we should live life in our retirement years. We are never too old to pick up new skills. All it takes is a change of mindset and attitude. The world is our oyster if we let it be.


      One of the biggest fears of growing old is loneliness and abandonment. This comes from the perception that older people are useless and unproductive. Harbouring such thoughts and feelings can lead to depression, and in some cases, to suicidal tendencies in the elderly. The best way to dispel such negative thoughts and pessimism is to be active. An idle mind is the devil's workshop, right? Join a seniors club or volunteer with an NGO that resonates with you. For a start, why not sign up for courses with University of the Third Age (U3A)? Not only will you widen your circle of friends, you will also enjoy the fun of learning new skills with your peers in a non-threatening environment, without the stress of exams and assignments!


      The ladies above signed up for U3A acrylic painting course as beginners. They soon discovered they had a flair for painting. The result - an acrylic art exhibition of their masterpieces held in Putrajaya. Goes to show that we are never too old to learn new skills, never too late to unearth our potential. Think of the sense of pride and achievement these ladies must have felt. We can all be like them. Take the initiative to explore new horizons. Be fearless. Never let our age stop us from trying new things that interest us.


      When we spend our retirement years living a sedentary lifestyle, our muscles will soon atrophy. We will start complaining of aches and pains all over. And before we even reach our 70s, we have become dependent on all kinds of aids, from walking aids to hearing aids and every other aid in between. It's time to get up from our armchair and exercise. Don't fancy exercising on your own? Round up some friends for a qigong session, or join a group like Mrs Jagjeet's Nordic Walkers.


      There are also groups that organize hiking-camping-cycling trips. Take your pick. Go google, or search Facebook to find out where these groups meet and how you can join them. Making resolutions to lose weight, eat well and exercise regularly produces no results, if they remain as resolutions. Translate your resolutions and good intentions into action to see results.


      Nothing like spending time outdoors in the early mornings or late evenings doing exercises to keep fit. Above are some members of Malaysian Healthy Ageing Society (MHAS) brisk walking in Taman Jaya park a few Sundays ago. In another section of the park was a group of old friends enjoying a quiet board game. Good friends provide a strong support system in our old age. Cherish their friendship.


      Don't fancy the physical demands of hiking or cycling? Take up gardening like SeniorsAloud member Keats (above). Mowing the grass, raking dry leaves, carrying flower pots and weeding all help to strengthen our muscles and improve our flexibility. There's also the added joy of eating the fruits of your hard work if you have a garden of fruits, herbs or vegetables. Urban farming is gaining popularity among city residents. U3A offers short courses on hydroponics, kitchen garden and mushroom cultivation in some semesters.


      Not only should we take care of our physical health, but also our mental health. Use it or lose it applies to our brain as well. Board games are great as mental exercises, so are doing crossword puzzles, sudoku and playing mahjong. All these help us to maintain our mental acuity and hopefully keep Alzheimer's at bay. Above are members of SeniorsAloud enjoying a mentally stimulating game of Math Magic. The board game was invented by Malaysian Jimmy Yeoh.


      The ladies of senior citizens clubs love to dance. We just wish the guys shared the same interest. No matter, as long as the ladies are having fun, the guys are content to sit and watch. Dancing is an enjoyable way to exercise the body. It is liberating as well. The above photo was taken at SeniorsAloud's 'Golden Memories' dinner and dance in 2015. Our 10th anniversary dinner is coming up in October. Do join us to celebrate this milestone.


      Passion and Compassion - these two values have been at the core of SeniorsAloud's existence from its very beginning in May 2008. Working hard to extend SeniorsAloud's reach and promote an active lifestyle for seniors has been my passion since I retired in 2004. I am blessed to have a dedicated team of volunteers to support me for our events and projects. Our passion spills over into compassion for others that need a helping hand. We believe firmly that volunteerism adds meaning and purpose to life. There are so many ways we can contribute to community service. Just find the one you are comfortable with, and that works best for you.


      For SeniorsAloud we have chosen to help by setting up a small initiative to look into appeals for assistance from the elderly or from NGOs that serve the elderly. Above are some of our past community service efforts made possible with funds raised at our annual dinners. Consider joining our SeniorsAloud Volunteer Group (SVG). Alone we can do only so much, but together we can do more.


      Given the platform to speak on active ageing to an audience of senior citizens, I could not pass up the opportunity to promote SeniorsAloud and U3A at the launch. These are probably the most active senior citizens groups on social media in Malaysia. So it should be easy for anyone interested to get in touch with SeniorsAloud or U3A to join their activities. Just google. By the way, U3A semester 2018 starts soon. Registration Day is Sat 3 March 2018. Course enrolment is on a first come basis.


      The above are the slides from my 30-min talk, with notes added. If you would like to know more about any of the groups or activities mentioned here, contact SeniorsAloud at info@seniorsaloud.com. We are committed to promoting active living for senior citizens, and will put you in touch with the relevant people in charge of these groups.

      (This article has been updated from the original posted on Feb 28, 2017.)

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      WILL QING MING NO LONGER BE OBSERVED IN THE NEXT GENERATION?

      March 31, 2018, 8:59 am
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      Source: Straits Times
      Qing Ming usually falls in the first week of April. This year 2018 it falls on 5 April. Thousands of Chinese Malaysians and Singaporeans who practise ancestral worship will observe this day by making the annual visit to the burial grounds of their dearly-departed kin. It is a mark of filial piety to pay their respects to their ancestors with prayers and offerings of food. Family members also take the opportunity to spruce up the burial area. This explains why Qing Ming is also referred to as "Tombsweeping Day".

      Perhaps most fascinating of the Qing Ming rituals is the burning of papier mache offerings. Over the years, these paper mache offerings have changed in keeping with the trends. I recall decades ago witnessing the burning of this huge paper replica of a mansion. The patriach of a family supermarket in my neighbourhood had passed away at a ripe old age. His children wanted to make sure their father would live in luxury in his after life.

      A papier mache mansion all ready to be burnt as an offering to the deceased.
      At the time as I was watching the 'mansion' make its way up in smoke to the other world, I thought about my dad. When he passed away in 1957, I remember my grandma made sure we burnt offerings of paper money - lots of it, in silver and gold, also replicas of his favorite clothes, food and his reading glasses. She wanted to make sure my dad would be comfortable and would always have money to spend in the other world.

      Today, being well-provided for takes on a new definition. It is no longer about sending necessities to the beloved deceased. The trend now is to go for paper replicas of luxury items like an iPad, LV bags, jade and gold jewelry, a BMW, and even a yacht! Apparently the rituals at some burial sites have taken on a modern flavour, with dancing girls as shown in the image below forwarded by a friend.


      I was in Chinatown, Petaling Street a few weeks ago hoping to find that little shop which used to make paper offerings for Qing Ming. It was no longer there. In fact, it had closed down many years ago. Not surprising. Making paper offerings for the departed is a dying craft, literally.

      With the younger generation losing interest in the old ways, Chinese traditions and customs will soon disappear into the history books. There might come a day when Qing Ming will no longer be observed if young parents of today do not pass it down to their children.

      In land scarce Singapore, for example, land has become such a premium that the government has taken back cemetary land for redevelopment. Graves have been exhumed and the affected families notified well in advance. Today only the Choa Chu Kang cemetary is left. Columbariums will soon meet a similar fate as more families opt for the ashes of their dearly beloved to be scattered at sea or in flower beds as in green burials. Graveyards as we know them will be a thing of the past.

      Whether that is a sad thing or not is debatable, I suppose. The dead must give way to the living, and the living find new ways to remember the dead, as in converting ashes to wearables e.g. rings, pendants or decorative items. Life must go on.

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